About King Saul...
I am him and he is me and I really hate that.
Why do I harbor such disdain for the first monarch of Israel? Because Saul holds up a mirror to me, and I despise the reflection it provides.
I mean, let’s be real. He’s not a gem of a king. Saul is insecure and fearful which leads him to people please and rationalize his actions. #ugh1
We only need to look at 1 Samuel 15 to obtain a crystal-clear picture of who this guy really is. Samuel comes to Saul with a message from God stating that He’s going to put an end to the Amalekites through Saul. The orders are to completely obliterate them; Saul is to leave no one and no thing alive.
Saul rallies the troops. He shows kindness to the Kenites advising them to high tail it out of there to ensure they don’t become collateral damage. Saul goes in, the conquering king and along with his army wins the battle, but somewhere along the way he’s persuaded to leave Agag, king of the Amalekites, and some choice livestock with breath in their lungs.
Of course, God sees all. He recounts Saul’s disobedience to Samuel. Sam appears to undergo some righteous indignation, mourning and lamenting about all of it. In the morning, he heads out to confront Saul.
As Samuel approaches Saul, Saul blesses him and additionally informs him that he has followed God’s orders to a tee. Sam quickly and pointedly calls him out on that. Saul rationalizes his action. Then Sam fills Saul in on all God had to say, and it’s not good. Much like a petulant child, Saul responds, “But I did obey!!!” again attempting to rationalize his actions.
Finally, Saul realizes that he’s totally screwed up, admits his mistake with the explanation that he only did what he did because he was afraid of his men. Unfortunately for Saul, God has already made up his mind and taken the kingdom away from him to give to another.
After this, Saul and Samuel never see one another again…at least in this life. And, scene.
Insecure.
Fearful.
People pleaser.
Rationalizer.
As much as I would like to line up with someone else in the Bible, it’s Saul. Though if you think about it, each person in the Bible had issues because they were all human beings. Not one of them were perfect. We’re not including Jesus here…totes obvs.
I beat myself up about my faults. I’m good at it. I attempt to lay these things at the foot of the cross, but I have a real bad habit of picking them back up. I can search my prayer journals and find examples of all of Saul’s traits as my own lamented in one form or another. I could feel really bad about it, like I’m never going to learn, until I think about another dude in the Bible named Saul. Same name; different Testament.
Saul of Tarsus was named after King Saul, I’m guessing, as he, too was a Benjaminite. In the beginning, Saul of Tarsus wasn’t that great. Zealous to be sure, but for the wrong things. Until God stopped him on a road and flipped his life upside down. After that encounter, Saul was a changed man. His behavior changed. His commitment to God changed. God chose to have Saul’s words minister to us and teach us.
In the movie, Paul, Apostle of Christ, it’s intimated that that thorn in his flesh might be the memories of what he did in his past life. There’s a scene where Paul2 is having nightmares about the people he helped martyr…in other words, the people he helped kill. When he awakens from the nightmare, the scene cuts to him penning the words, and repeating them, “Your grace is sufficient. Your grace is sufficient.”3 It’s a poignant picture, if you think about it. In scripture, Paul asks for the thorn to be removed, but God says, “No. It’s there to keep you humble.”4 Perhaps remembering who we were in our past, and who we’re still capable of being, keeps us humble. Perhaps God doesn’t remove these seemingly natural bents or tendencies, these thorns, to see if we will go with what we know or if we will trust that His grace is really sufficient for the weakness of our human nature. Idk. It’s a theory.
Here’s what I do know for me, and for you, if you’re in Christ. The blood of Christ covers us. Our salvation happened once. Our sanctification happens daily. The only time we will get to claim perfection is on the day of Christ. Until then, we trust in Him to help us in our weakness. If we slip, we accept the conviction of the Spirit and repent. When He forgives us, we praise Him. When He helps us in our weakness, we praise Him.
God saves. He helps. He convicts. He restores. He heals. He loves. He cares. He sees. He knows. He understands. He does all of this, and so much more. Why? Because He’s good like that.
What a blessing to be born on this side of the cross. To Him be the glory.
I began using hashtags ironically and I legit can’t quit.
If Luke can switch from Saul to Paul, I can, too.
It’s been years since I’ve seen this movie, but the lesson from this scene has stuck with me. If it’s not quite accurate, you have my apologies.
My paraphrase. Peep 2 Corinthians 12 for the full story.
I never thought about the connection between Saul and Saul! And I didn’t think about the possibility that Saul #2’s “thorn” could have been the guilt and shame about what he did in his past. Great summary and thoughts!